I’m a secondary school boy. I’m always neatly dress up for school. However, my shirt will be full of pen marks, cuts and will always be untidy whenever I leave the school.
Once I’m home, my mother will be praying to her “God” to kill the “homosexual demon” out of me. Basically, I’d just ignore her. I’ll be forced to kneel in front of her “God” every night to pray. My dad? He’s already long gone with another women as he does not want a homosexual child as he claims that I’d affect his career.
The next day, I wish that I wouldn’t have to go to school again. Few friendly classmates of mine would want to be friends with me. I just don’t get it. Is it the way that how they think that being a homosexual is a sin? I study in a methodist school anyways. How ironic that they claim that God loves everyone. I laugh at that every time. I will every hear, “You’re an abomination”, “You’re against God’s creation” or “God hates you”. I don’t feel hurt anymore. I’m used to this since I was in primary school.
I laughed and asked myself why am I gay? Why not straight or at least have any sexual desire towards opposite gender. Unfortunately, I’ve 0% sexual desire for the opposite gender. It’s the fact that I’ve to avoid the boy’s toilet every time. I have to use the handicap toilet to either change into my uniform after my physical education lesson or to urinate w/e. Any class outings which are hosted by a classmate of mine, I will be the only person not going or the only one not invited. In my class video which is for memories to remember, I don’t see any of my face in the picture. Not even one. The worst part is during recess. “Sporty boys” or bullies love to call me “Gay”, “Fag” or “Sissy”. After all those insults, everyone would be staring at me.
I wouldn’t care anyways. Just one more year and I’ll be heading to polytechnic. Well, I have two choice. One, to not look forward and two, to not. I look forward to my future and find my true love and leave my family as soon as possible. I bore all the insults and bullying all by myself.
This is something for all my lovely gay teenage boys who are suffering because of their sexuality. Don’t give up on life, look forward to it and brave through the sufferings. Soon enough, you’ll be able to get out of it and start a new journey.
There you have it. Life of a gay teenage boy in a religious family and a homophobic school.