What is the kindness thing anyone would do for someone that you once loved?...

When i heard that she's finally not think too much about me and seems to be moving on, i got a slight tingle of sadness. I just hope whatever i did, the intention was good to help her to move on. This is the last thing i will do just for her to ease the agony. I didn't meant to interfere with the natural process of a breakup, i was just being there as an emotional crutch to help with any emotional distress. Ignoring someone will only make things worst. I was just existing to lend a listening ear... while keeping my distance, not giving mixed signals with a clear conscience. 

I hope she will live a good life...just that i won't be in the picture. 

----

王貳浪 - 像魚

作詞：周有才 作曲：周有才

這是一首簡單的歌 沒有什麼獨特

試著代入我的心事 它那麼幼稚

像個頑皮的孩子

多麼可笑的心事 只剩我還在堅持

誰能看透我的眼睛 讓我能夠不再失明

我要記住你的樣子 像魚記住水的擁抱

像雲在天空中停靠 夜晚的來到

也不會忘了陽光的溫暖

我要忘了你的樣子 像魚忘了海的味道

放下所有夢和煩惱 卻放不下回憶的乞討

多麼可笑的心事 只剩我還在堅持

誰能看透我的眼睛 讓我能夠不再失明

記住你的樣子 像魚記住水的擁抱

像雲在天空中停靠 夜晚的來到

也不會忘了陽光的溫暖

我要忘了你的樣子 像魚忘了海的味道

放下所有夢和煩惱 卻放不下回憶的乞討

只剩自己就好

聚散不由人

我 相 信 (楊培安) ( 新兵日記 片尾曲 )

As I grow older, the memories of my 20s and 30s float through my mind like a familiar melody—vibrant, chaotic, and full of firsts. Those early years of adulthood were a time of discovery, especially for someone like me—a gay man still coming to terms with identity and desire. I remember the thrill of meeting new people, of awkward first dates that held so much promise, of falling in and out of love, sometimes in ways that left me both exhilarated and exhausted. In those years, I pushed boundaries—often stepping far outside my comfort zone in a bid to find intimacy, connection, and maybe, just maybe, someone to grow old with.

Now, in my 40s, the pace of life has shifted. The youthful energy that once fueled spontaneous weekend trips and impulsive romantic adventures has mellowed. I’ve grown more content being single than I thought I would ever be. There’s a certain peace in knowing yourself more deeply, a sense of stability in setting the rhythms of your life without the constant quest for a relationship. But alongside that contentment lingers a quiet yearning—an awareness that, as much as I’ve settled into my life, there’s still a part of me searching.

That search is not what it used to be. It’s no longer fueled by the frantic need to find “the one” or to experience the high of infatuation. Instead, it’s a quieter desire—a longing for intimacy, yes, but also for companionship that runs deeper than attraction. The wisdom of age has taught me to see beyond appearances, to appreciate the depth that others bring into their lives as they, too, navigate the inevitable changes of aging. In my 20s, I was all about surface—how someone looked, the thrill of chemistry. But now? Now I find myself drawn to the richness of experience, to the quiet confidence that only time can foster, and to the subtleties of connection that go beyond the physical.

Still, there’s that lingering question: Is it enough to be content with my own company? For many of us, aging brings with it a deeper appreciation of solitude. I cherish my mornings with coffee and a book, my evenings spent in quiet reflection. But there are moments—often when least expected—when I feel the old ache of desire. It’s not just for sex or intimacy, though that’s part of it. It’s for someone to share those quiet mornings with, someone to plan with, dream with, and perhaps even age alongside.

Sometimes, in these moments, my mind drifts back to the idea of returning to places where I once ventured far beyond my comfort zone—places like China. I remember the time I spent there, when everything felt foreign and exciting, and the possibilities for connection seemed endless. There’s a part of me that wonders if, by returning to those foreign lands, I might rekindle that sense of adventure, of newness, and perhaps meet someone with whom I could build something lasting. China, or somewhere else—could it be the key to meeting someone who shares my values, someone who might understand this late-stage yearning for connection?

It’s tempting to think of foreign places as a kind of reset button, a way to re-enter the dating world with fresh eyes and a new sense of purpose. I remember how often I went outside of my comfort zone in my 20s and 30s—trying new things, meeting new people, learning more about myself through those experiences. And yet, as much as I long for that sense of possibility again, I also find myself seeking something more peaceful these days. The thought of settling down—really settling down—appeals to me in a way it never did before. A part of me wants to find that calm after all the turbulence of youth, but there’s still that little voice in the back of my mind, urging me to keep looking, to not give up on love just yet.

In this balancing act between contentment and longing, I’ve come to realize that aging is not just about slowing down. It’s about distilling your desires, your dreams, and your sense of self into something clearer, more refined. While the frenetic energy of youth has faded, the desire for love remains, though it has taken on new forms. I no longer seek the same kind of romance I did in my younger years. What I long for now is quieter but more profound—someone to share life’s simple moments with, someone who understands the wisdom that comes with time and appreciates the beauty beyond appearances.

As I plan for the future—thinking about retirement, long-term goals, and the life I want to build in the years to come—I also find myself planning for love in a different way. It’s no longer a race or a desperate search; it’s a hopeful, patient journey. Whether that journey takes me back to China or leads me somewhere else entirely, I’ve come to realize that, no matter how settled I may feel, the desire for connection never fully fades.

Maybe that’s the gift of growing older as a gay man: understanding that while you might be content with where you are, there’s always room for love, for connection, for intimacy. It just looks a little different now. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the best kind of love—the kind that takes its time, waits for the right moment, and allows itself to unfold naturally, like the slow, steady rhythm of a life well-lived.

衰老、回忆与爱的追寻：作为一名四十多岁同性恋者的人生感悟

随着年龄的增长，关于二十多岁和三十多岁时的回忆就像一首熟悉的旋律，鲜活、混乱、充满了许多“第一次”。那些早期的成年时光，是一个探索的时期，尤其是对像我这样的同性恋者来说——仍在逐渐接受自己的身份和欲望。我记得与新朋友相识时的兴奋，那些充满期待的第一次约会，爱上又失恋的瞬间，时而让我心潮澎湃，时而让我感到精疲力竭。在那些年里，我不断突破自我，常常走出舒适区，试图寻找亲密感、连接感，或许还能找到一个可以共度余生的人。

如今，四十多岁的我，生活的节奏发生了变化。曾经支持我去随心旅行和冒险的青春能量，已慢慢平静下来。我发现自己比预想中更加享受单身生活。伴随着对自我认识的加深，生活中的那种稳定感逐渐取代了过去对爱情的急切追寻。可是在这种满足感中，依然有一种安静的渴望若隐若现——尽管我已适应了现在的生活，但内心深处仍有一个角落在寻找。

这种寻找已不再像过去那样急迫，不再是为了找到所谓的“那个对的人”或是体验一时的激情。取而代之的，是一种更为沉静的需求——渴望亲密，但更渴望一种超越外表和吸引的陪伴感。随着年龄的增长，我学会了欣赏他人内在的丰富，理解那些在时间洗礼中成熟的自信，感受那些超越肉体吸引力的微妙情感连接。在二十多岁时，我更关注外表——对方的长相、化学反应的强度。而现在，我被吸引的是生活阅历的厚度，是一种只有时间才能带来的安静力量，是一种远超表面的深刻联系。

尽管如此，那个问题依然挥之不去：仅仅满足于自己的陪伴，真的足够了吗？对许多人来说，随着年龄的增长，孤独有了更深的意义。我珍惜那些独处的早晨，一杯咖啡，一本书，静静的夜晚让我思考人生。但有时——往往是在最意想不到的时刻——我依然会感到那种熟悉的渴望。它不仅仅是对性或亲密的需求，更是对分享这些安静时光的伴侣的渴望，想要和某个人一起计划未来，一起做梦，甚至在未来的岁月中彼此扶持，携手老去。

有时，我会不自觉地想起是否应该重返那些曾让我走出舒适区的地方，比如中国。我还记得在中国的那些时光，一切都充满了新鲜和刺激，似乎处处充满了连接的可能性。内心有一个声音在说，或许回到那些陌生的国度，可以重新点燃那种冒险感、那种新鲜感，或许能遇到一个可以建立长久关系的人。中国，或者别的地方——这会是遇到那个理解我、能与我共享这份晚年渴望的人的契机吗？

将异国他乡视作一种“重启按钮”令人感到诱惑，似乎可以用全新的视角重新进入约会世界，带着新的目标。回想我二十多岁和三十多岁时，多少次走出舒适区——尝试新事物，认识新朋友，透过这些经历更好地了解自己。然而，尽管我渴望再次体验那种可能性，我也发现自己如今更加渴望的是一种平静的生活。安定下来的念头——真正的安定——如今对我有着前所未有的吸引力。在经历了青春的波澜之后，我也想找到那种平静的港湾。但心中仍有一个微小的声音，不断提醒我，不要完全放弃对爱的追求。

在这种满足与渴望的平衡中，我渐渐明白，衰老不仅仅意味着放慢脚步，它还意味着将自己的欲望、梦想和自我认识提炼得更加清晰和纯粹。尽管青春的急促节奏已经消退，爱的渴望依然存在，虽然它的形式已发生了改变。如今我不再追求年轻时那种浪漫，而是向往一种更安静但更深刻的感情——有人能和我一起分享生活中的小美好，能够理解随着时间流逝所带来的智慧，欣赏那超越外表的美。

在我为未来做计划时——无论是退休的安排，还是长远的目标，或是我想在未来几年建立的生活，我也开始以不同的方式为爱情做准备。这不再是场竞赛，也不再是绝望的追寻，而是一场充满希望、耐心的旅程。不管这场旅程是否会带我重返中国，或将我引向其他地方，我逐渐意识到，尽管我感到内心平静，但对爱的渴望永远不会完全消失。

也许，这就是作为一个同性恋者随着年龄增长的礼物：你学会了虽然对现状感到满足，但心里始终为爱、为连接、为亲密保留了一席之地。只是这些东西现在看起来不再那么急迫，反而变得更加温柔、更加自然。也许，这才是最好的爱——它不急不躁，静待时机，像一段缓慢而稳定的旋律，在一场从容、深刻的人生中渐渐展开。

6 October 2024 11:34 am Gloomy-slightly sunny Sunday

I hate to enter a sad story in my blog. But by doing so, I want to remind myself to be wiser.

Shammugan, an Indian migrant worker, hit me up via FB dating. We got connected on 7 May 2024. 

He is an honest man, at least that was my first impression of him. He is married and has a son. But he said that he is lonely and need a man for love. His limited English, is an evidence that he was new here. Hence, without any doubt, I loved him and was kind towards him.

As the months went by,I hardly hear from him. Once, he sent a photo of a sexy woman. Yet another time, he sent a photo of three gay men cuddling. My instinct told me that he had sent them by mistake. But to whom was he sending them to? I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

5 October,  Saturday, Shammugan sent me a photo of his cock. I wondered why sent me such a photo when he was absent for 1 week? I asked him did he sent the photo by mistake. Immediately, he deleted thr photo and did not reply or answer my call.

So obvious. He is dating not me alone.

Well, I hate liars and cheaters. 

I wait to see him heart broken and get used by his other lovers.

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website : https://bingojili.org

Happy777 is a vibrant digital platform that celebrates the diverse world of beauty, offering users an exciting space to explore trends, share tips, and connect with fellow enthusiasts. With a focus on creativity and self-expression, Happy777 provides a range of interactive features that allow users to dive into discussions about skincare, makeup, and wellness. Whether you’re a beauty novice or an expert, the platform caters to all levels of experience, making it an inclusive environment for everyone.

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In today’s world, the importance of celebrating diversity and inclusion has never been more crucial, and FunBingo stands at the forefront of this movement. As a platform that encourages community engagement and fun, FunBingo embraces all individuals, including those in the LGBT community. This commitment to inclusivity not only enriches the FunBingo experience but also fosters a sense of belonging for everyone involved.

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In today’s fast-paced technological landscape, niceph stands out as a transformative force. This dynamic company has been at the forefront of delivering cutting-edge solutions that address the complex needs of businesses across various sectors. With a reputation for excellence, Niceph is redefining the boundaries of technology and innovation.

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I am openly gay and am looking for a partner who shares my views on life and values fidelity, trust and respect. I believe that real relationships are built on mutual understanding and support for each other in any situation.

We can talk and have a very good friendship, don't let your age limit you, we all deserve a chance

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I am new on this site so if you're interested let's connect 

App called Telegram: @bulldog_04

And Whatsup: +639161945932

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563961704023

To friends who see this - I am going to limit future travels to within New Zealand, and to Australia and the Pacific Islands. I'm getting older, have done plenty of international travels, met a lot of friends, but maybe now is the time for them to visit me and my country. Hope so anyway.

Here's the link to the LGBTQIA+ Bible study blog I run. Please stop by!!

https://alloutbible.com/

YOU DEFINATELY MUST  BE A NON-SMOKER.

Please -

DO NOT ASK ME TO PAY YOUR RENT  ( I AM NOT a wealthy guy)

DO NOT ASK ME FOR MONEY   (I Not a bank or walking ATM),

DO NOT ASK ME FOR AIRLINE  TICKETS   (I AM NOT A TRAVEL AGENT),

DO NOT ASK ME FOR A VISA   (I AM NOT an IMMIGRATION OFFICER)

Two years ago, I posted a detailed blog on Fridae about being bullied. This marked my first experience engaging a lawyer and going through a court case. I was assisting my then-girlfriend, J, who was the employee involved. Despite almost winning the case, J and I broke up, and she didn't share her experiences on social media to inform others about how to protect themselves from bad employers. Many friends and even lawyers advised me that our chances of winning were as low as 1%. I told J that since NTUC Union and MOM were not helping, we had to seek other resources.

Francis K sent people to our rental unit at night to harass us. I didn't feel safe allowing him to continue his threatening behaviour. I recall meeting him for the first time at mediation, where he stared at me from head to toe, clearly agitated. He believed I was the mastermind behind the further investigation, wasting his time =P. Former employees mentioned that he frequently terminated staff without valid reasons, simply because he owned the company and was unhappy with them. One pregnant employee was terminated after her maternity leave, but she didn't report it to MOM out of fear, knowing Francis's tendency to use money to intimidate.

Whenever Francis saw me at the sub-court at Outram Park, he would threaten to sue me. However, as a law-abiding citizen, I knew he had no grounds. He even mentioned my name in an affidavit, accusing me of using his company printer. I could sue him for defamation. Francis only needed to pay the shortfall of two days' salary by the end of December 31, 2021, to close the case, but he chose to threaten instead.

On May 25, 2023, at 5:30 pm, the final judgment was issued in a 43-pages "Notes of Evidence." The court allowed J's claim for salary and the legal and beneficial owner of the iPhone 12, dismissed the defendant's counterclaim, allowed Bryan's claim for a declaration that he was the legal and beneficial owner of the phone, and dismissed the defendant's counterclaim. B, who worked with Francis and was terminated after J. Francis found out that B testified for J, stating the iPhone 12 was a gift for employees. When Francis learned Bryan was a witness, he demanded the return of the "gift" within seven days using company letterhead.

Francis believed he could control and harm everyone. Despite the shortfall being less than $200, he ended up paying more, including our lawyer's fees and his own. I am grateful for the strength and wisdom to claim justice. NTUC Union initially told us the shortfall was around $600, which prompted me to encourage my ex-girlfriend to claim what she deserved. Francis's reaction was to intimidate us, but we fought for our justice. I always told J that we had nothing to lose, and my conscience is clear.

Car Rental company located at Orchard Tower.

I'm digging this piece... it has lofi, nostalgia and 80s vibes..

Birds of a feather:

I want you to stay

'Til I'm in the grave

'Til I rot away, dead and buried

'Til I'm in the casket you carry

If you go, I'm going too, uh

'Cause it was always you, alright

And if I'm turning blue, please don't save me

Nothing left to lose without my baby

Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know

I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone

Can't change the weather, might not be forever

But if it's forever, it's even better

And I don't know what I'm crying for

I don't think I could love you more

It might not be long, but baby, I

I'll love you 'til the day that I die

'Til the day that I die

'Til the light leaves my eyes

'Til the day that I die

I want you to see, hm

How you look to me, hm

You wouldn't believe if I told ya

You would keep the compliments I throw ya

But you're so full of shit, uh

Tell me it's a bit, oh

Say you don't see it, your mind's polluted

Say you wanna quit, don't be stupid

And I don't know what I'm crying for

I don't think I could love you more

Might not be long, but baby, I

Don't wanna say goodbye

Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know ('til the day that I die)

I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone ('til the light leaves my eyes)

Can't change the weather, might not be forever ('til the day that I die)

But if it's forever, it's even better

I knew you in another life

You had that same look in your eyes

I love you, don't act so surprised

When I received the news of your passing, the first reaction of me was a laugh, after that was shock and worry. I was shock as I never expect it would end this way. Worried was because of your ages mom. I was looking back at the photos we took together, I realised when we were so loving,we resembled one another.Though we were only together for 16months,I treasure and cherish every moment. I never regret spending the time with you. You will always remain a part of my memory. RIP............

I've been on a mission to explore the vast world of diets, from vegan to carnivorous, and everything in between. But one thing that really resonated with me was the keto diet's emphasis on low carb intake. However, the high fat aspect didn't quite sit right. To prioritize nutrient-dense greens and healthy ingredients, sans the carbs. Gotta love - the beef steak, salmon, cod fish. I'm thinking maybe ..this will nourish both my body and taste buds!