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26 Jun 2009

Living with HIV - My second coming out (Part 2)

So what would you do if you had just found out you’re HIV+ – and then your brother keeps bugging you to tell him something he thinks you should? This was the dilemma SL Yang was caught in when he was diagnosed more than a decade ago.

Coming out is not an easy process – as most of you would know. I came out to my parents as being gay when I was only 16. Lest you think it was a case of bravado, I must hasten to add that it was done more as an act of frustration and rebellion. I inflicted my mother with this terrible bit of knowledge during a quarrel, in a moment of unthinking angst and rage. You find out very quickly that what is said cannot be taken back. Luckily for me, my family accepted me for what I am – and I did not suffer the fate of being thrown out of my home… something, unfortunately that continues to happen to teens the world over who come out to their families.

With the act of coming out, comes the fear of rejection and uncertainty. With my brother’s constant badgering – “Is there something you want to tell me…?” - I finally caved in.

I blurted out: “I tested positive for HIV!”

An awful silence descended and I just closed my eyes, willing darkness to close in and cover me. After a very pregnant pause, my brother told me, “It’s not the end of the world…” and he proceeded to give me an awkward hug. Waves of relief washed over me… but before that could abate, he said, “I think you should tell mum and dad.”

“Oh, no,” I thought to myself… “Oh, no.”

I was a nervous wreck for two days – I was trying to psych myself up to tell my parents about my condition. I’ve never felt so alone and vulnerable. It was like the final judgement – what would they say or do if I told them?

My father had always been a stern disciplinarian since I was young. Emotionally distant, he seldom showed any signs of affection, like most men of his generation. My mother and I had a stormy relationship when I was a teenager – I always felt she wanted me to conform to society’s norms and I resented this, seeing it as a sign of her tacit disapproval of who I was.

So now I was HIV+… how would I tell them?

I burst into their bedroom one night, after dinner and announced: “I have something to tell you.” I felt as if I was rushing towards a speeding train. My pulse was racing, and I could hardly keep my voice from wavering.

When I did say the words: “I am HIV-positive…” I was unprepared for what followed. My father, a man of few words and resolutely undemonstrative… he came up to me and hugged me. He proceeded to assure me that I was still his son and that he would continue to help take care of me. My mother burst into tears – in between sobs, she professed love for me as her son, interspersed with the primal weeping that only mothers can make when something terrible has happened to their children.

Suffice to say, it took awhile before I could recover my composure. The future looked bleak, but thanks to the reassurances of my parents, I had an emotional anchor to hang on to. That love and support still continues to help me in times of depression or need. I am so grateful for that. Other HIV+ people I have met have not had that luxury – many have not told their parents or families. Most have not come out to their families as being gay, much less HIV+. The stigma and discrimination surrounding this disease has isolated many – and continues to do so till today.

With my second coming out, came relief. I felt that I could share the burden of my disease with my family – I need not do it alone anymore.

The big question for many HIV+ people is – who do you tell? In Singapore, the dilemma is even made more acute because of the various legislation that has been put in place.

The Infectious Disease Act requires that those who know they are HIV+ to inform their partners of their sero-status before having sex. Then there’s the provision that even if you don’t know your sero-status, but have indulged in risky behaviour – you can be charged. Unless you have informed your partner of your past risky behaviour, who then goes on to voluntarily commit the act. You are also not liable if he had a test done just before sex, or if you practiced safe sex. The penalty? Conviction to a fine not exceeding S$50,000 (USS34,000) or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years or both.

The Singapore government has decided use this piece of heavy-handed legislation to force people to use condoms during sex. Whether this will work or not is debatable – how far can you modify human sexual behaviour with  a piece of legislation?

So how do HIV+ people deal with this? Gay culture with its heritage of anonymous sexual partners has spawned the “don’t ask don’t tell” response. At saunas or through internet hook-ups, people have anonymous sex without asking for each other’s sero-status – it is assumed the onus on protection is on both parties. Most know how HIV is transmitted – and that condom use is the key to preventing transmission of HIV. It is generally assumed condoms will be used especially for these anonymous or first-time hook-ups. And with strong prevention messaging, it becomes the norm to use condoms – and peer pressure comes into place for people to use condoms.

One or two HIV+ people I know have told me they will tell potential partners they are HIV+ - usually over the net, protected by anonymity. And if the partners are OK with it, they go ahead with a meeting or hook-up. Others have stopped having sex altogether – or they look for other HIV+ people for sex. Sex is such a strong, basic, primal urge – would it be possible to stop it altogether? If you had HIV, would you tell a stranger you were about to have sex with?

Meanwhile, the climate of fear engendered by the Infectious Disease Act has served to further increase the sense of stigma and discrimination HIV+ people feel. And it has helped drive people who practice risky behaviour underground.

This is the second installment of a 6-part series which will run every other Friday.

Reader's Comments

1. 2009-06-26 19:34  
i really want to salute SL Lang for this remarkable and frank story...it gives us all a lot to learn from...and he should be congratulated on his frankness and deserves our compassion


2. 2009-06-26 19:44  
You have my admiration, & I'm greatly warmed by your family! =)
3. 2009-06-26 20:08  
It was a great second part with a slight twist into explaining the law in regards with HIV+ individuals. A brilliant follow-up from the first part, no doubt.
4. 2009-06-26 21:21  
i wanted to cry when i read the part about how your father hugged you. i resolutely believe in a heavenly Father's love for a very imperfect world, though this is sometimes so very hard to see in a world so full of heartache and woes. we can only see now as through a glass, darkly...
it is not formal religion that can save a broken world that is self-destructing, but the Son's undiscriminating Love that covers a multitude of sins... i, a sinner myself, wish all the hurting but wonderful, young people here, will somehow, sometime soon, just feel a hug from the heavenly Father above, too...
5. 2009-06-26 23:31  
The writer really have a lot to be thankful for.
The simple acceptance of his family to his sexual orientation and the subsequent unquestioning support of him upon revelation of his hiv status.
If only more families are as supportive as yours.
6. 2009-06-27 00:38  
really want to salute SL Lang for this remarkable and frank story.
wanted to cry when i read the part about how your father hugged you. i resolutely believe in a heavenly Father's love you
7. 2009-06-27 08:03  
I have to say I don't care for these articles.

Of course, I come from a different background where families openly accept gay children. So maybe I'm spoiled. However, I came of age in the 80s when HIV was death sentence, so I think I have a balanced view. While many readers love the 'openess' here, I am left wondering how the hell the writer got HIV in the first place. This little morality tale might read better if we see where he was psychologically and morally. Towards the end of the article, he wrote about anonymous sex and whether people admit they have HIV. It sounds incredibly naive; not only that, it reveals where he was and what kind of man he was, and how little he'd thought about the cause and the effect. I don't mean to judge; I'm for forgiveness. But if you side-skip the mistake, and just leave it in the passive (like Reagan's lovely "mistakes were made"), any aftereffects just sound hallow.

I particularly love the line "how far can you modify human sexual behaviour with a piece of legislation?" Why do we have any damn laws regarding stealing, murder, or rape?

Most of the spread of HIV and the AIDS crisis has been lodged in the heart of a key period of the gay rights movement, mostly in the US. Many early leaders died younger than they should have because of it. Many people died ignorant how they even got it in the first place. However, AIDS is one of the most studied and researched diseases in the world now. People who are HIV+ need to spend more time talking about how they screwed up and less time about acceptance. We've got a lot of people who are HIV- who can talk about loving families or finding acceptance, thank you. We're in a different world than 20 years ago, and as long as gay people continue to build bath houses and haunt small parks, we're going to have more stories like this. Why can't people say "don't do what I did"?

Also, the other comments show how hard it still is for many people in Chinese communities in Asia to come out to family. I have more compassion for people who are struggling to juggle a flowering relationship with a gay man or woman while dealing with parental pressure to marry than I do for people who contract HIV. The real crime is the neo-confucian hierarchy that's torturing these poor people. The 'martyr's halo' of the HIV+ needs to be thrown out. It was earned when governments didn't care; now there are counseling centers and hot lines all over the world. Why can't we spend more time focusing on how people can build real relationships than on 'damage control' for the hot-to-trot set?

If you leave your keys on top of your porche in south Chicago, and you come back and find it gone... YES, it's theft, and you have the right to get the police after the jerk who stole it, but you're an idiot. And if you have anonymous sex and get HIV, then YES you have a right to good medical treatment and support, and you shouldn't be feared or get prejudice in the work place (by all means, if you are fired for HIV, sue, sue, sue), but... you do know you are an idiot, right?
8. 2009-06-27 15:00  
dear daophos, appreciated your feedback, yet i still wanna salute to Yang. yes we need to talk about prevention, but this article is merely showing some support/insight for those victims who contracted hiv. and i hope u would hang on to all of Yang's upcoming posts before drawing conclusion(s). best wishes.
9. 2009-06-27 15:15  
Thank you for your comment. I didn't say I want to block or ban his articles. But you repeated the mistake I was addressing: people with HIV are not victims, unless of course they are victims of rape. People get sick. A person with diabetes or periodontal disease has a lifetime condition that they have to manage. So is a person with HIV.

In the 1980s, and the early 90s, people with HIV were given a great deal of compassion because a) it was practically a death sentence, b) it hi-lighted prejudice and hate in society when they lost jobs, and c) let's face it, it was the "in" Hollywood thing. We've been through that, and we now have many more rights and freedoms than anybody in 1983 could have imagined. Obama is stalling for health care, but huge things are coming in the USA; huge things have already happened in Europe.

We need to stop seeing HIV+ people as victims; they're idiots. If I can throw my own story out, I'm HIV-, but I was an alcoholic for six years. I am healthy and happy now, but I have to be careful with my health. I accept the stupidity of my actions, and I would never claim to be a victim. I was an idiot, and the consequences are all mine. I expect the same from people who have anonymous sex online, in bathhouses, in bars, etc. The science on HIV is better than on many, many diseases, and it's oh so easy to avoid.

Finally, I haven't drawn any conclusions because I haven't seen his first story: what did he do? He is side-stepping it, and I would like him to go back and address that. When people screw up, I'm all in favor of picking them up and helping them out. However, he needs to say: I screwed up. That's all.

Perhaps it's because compassion is so lacking in Asia, at least for HIV+ people, that his story stirs people. Of course, I wish him the best. But gays need to move beyond finger pointing and guilt and being victims. A lot of damage was self-inflicted. Period. So good riddance to fetish-filled parades and let's persuade straight people that we're also looking for love, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness just like them!
Comment edited on 2009-06-27 15:20:52
10. 2009-06-27 17:48  
Thanks for sharing your story SL Yang. Don't mind these patronizing, besserwisser responses. Hang on there :)
11. 2009-06-27 19:56  
Another sad, meaningless comment. What's wrong with Europeans? I thought they had dictionaries... So sad to see a middle-aged man without a dictionary.
Comment #12 was deleted by its author
13. 2009-06-27 22:11  
Re: Comments by daophos
'Of course, I come from a different background where families openly accept gay children. So maybe I'm spoiled. However, I came of age in the 80s when HIV was death sentence, so I think I have a balanced view.'

This admission is not an excuse to belittle or steam roll over other people's opinions. Perhaps if the post was a mis-guided attempt at a more conciliatory tone, then this very public display of misconceptions and prejudices can be forgiven.

I feel SL Yang portrays an intriguing picture and appreciate his point of view, but understand he by no means aims to cover the whole spectrum of experiences a HIV+ person may undergo.
14. 2009-06-27 22:30  
I didn't belittle or steam-roll over any of his opinions. I argued that he was avoiding the 800-pound gorilla in the room: why gay men are still at the center of the HIV dilemma yet still want to be innocent daughters.

As for misconceptions or prejudice, I am prepared to defend what I said. Thank you for the blank bullets, but, your point? What did I say that was misconceived or prejudiced?

I never wrote about "the whole spectrum of experience a [sic] HIV+ person may undergo," so maybe I'm getting hate mail for the wrong post.

I don't have HIV and I don't pretend to know what it's like. I also don't have diabetes or liver failure or thousands of other conditions. I was speaking about a condition that is in personal control. Do you get it? Likely not.
15. 2009-06-27 23:20  
In SL's defense, he hardly seems to be pointing fingers and casting himself as a victim or disavowing his own behavior. There are still four more parts to this series. It seems a bit premature to argue that the 800 pound gorilla has been ignored. When writing about a topic as deeply personal, not to mention complicated, as one's HIV status, there are any number of ways to approach the story. Fridae could simply have posted a one-line warning written by one its editors along the lines of "Practice unsafe sex at your own risk!" but that would have felt rather sterile.

I think the point here isn't as much about feeling sympathy for Mr. Yang (or Daophos and his alcoholism, for that matter) as it is understanding how much empathy we, as human beings, possess and have yet to attain. Daophos is right that there is more information on HIV than ever before; there is no excuse to be misinformed. And yet, ironically, there is also more ignorance on the subject, ignorance that continues to breed pain and disconnection and callousness. It is one thing to be able to see and read the notes on the page. It is an entirely other matter to be able to appreciate the music and let it stir up the soul.
16. 2009-06-27 23:33  
I didn't say he pointed fingers; I said gays do. And we don't need another article about 'it sucks to be me' to cultivate empathy, do we?

Why is there ignorance on the subject? I remember being in High School biology classes in the 1980s when there was just speculation, and I was all ears.

Why do you raise a point [i.e. Asians are ignorant about basic science] and then fall into bad poetry? "It is one thing to be able to see and read the notes on the page. It is an entirely other matter to be able to appreciate the music and let it stir up the soul." Huh? Tell that to a 16year old who is thinking of having sex. Good luck! Can we all grow up and be adults in reality? STDs are real, marriage institutions are real, and prejudice against gays is real.

The one thing that disgusted me with the American 'left' is that it's caught up in the symbolic. Obviously, many have followed here. Get over the bloody post-modern theories and get out and organize! It's how the weekend was won by workers, it's how 40 work hours were won (an alien concept in Asia, I know), and it's the only way forward. Or you could blog endlessly like most liberals in the US do.
17. 2009-06-28 00:08  
Wow, so SL's 6-part series can be summarized as "it sucks to be me". I think a 100-part series would not do enough for some people when it comes to empathy.
18. 2009-06-28 00:17  
What, has he said anything interesting or original? He hugged his dad. Great. And?
19. 2009-06-28 00:21  
Like I said, could we have something useful instead of 'I was a fag with HIV and people wuv me'? Good, dear; now go do something useful. There are worse things than HIV. Or self-hating. Cry me a river, darling, but there are more things in this world.
20. 2009-06-28 07:49  
Oh~Shut the fuck up, hateful bitch!
Comment edited on 2009-06-28 07:57:04
21. 2009-06-28 10:08  
Another mature comment.
22. 2009-06-28 11:12  
Hi SL Yang, Admire u to come out n help us understand more issues fr ur side...if u need any help just drop me a message...my frens a counsellor for hiv if u need to tok ok ...stay cool babe
23. 2009-06-28 13:41  
Everyone is destined to die someway or another. HIV is not end of the world juz dat life will be a burden cuz you think you are given a faster 'life sentence'

Juz stay positive and healthy do what ever you can to stay alive and shower more love and concern to people around you. There is a consequence in every action.

There is no point crying over spilled milk.. just wipe it off quickly and move on. There is still plenty of things waiting for you to fulfill and only you, Yang can fulfill it no others. Just meditate intently n you will be 'reborn' or i say transform.

In near future, you'll be able to share your experience with those who have suffer the same consequences as you. And you can pass on your positive hope to them.

The world is beautiful after all =)
24. 2009-06-28 15:07  
It's not the end of the world.
One Life Live It :-)
25. 2009-06-28 15:56  
everyone behind there is a story, face it, deal with it and forget about it. This is life.
26. 2009-06-28 16:35  
I guess this aticle can be taken in many ways.
It can be both a warning and it can be an inspirational . It can inspire those who have contracted HIV or it can frustrate some who cannot understand why HIV can be contracted by safer- sex educated gay persons. ( ie: why do people put themselves at high risk) I feel it is mainly written for the former reason. BUT... everbody can see and take out of it something different.
All the above comments we can also take something from, and meditate on. BUT..there is no denying that it is a brave move on the authors part to write it publicly, and to be subject to the positive and negative criticisms, especially in the country he lives in. Very brave. It would not be easy, and I'm sure he is not looking for sympathy.

We should also follow the story in all its parts until its final episode part before being too harsh in judgement.
27. 2009-06-28 23:14  
I am happy for you SL Yang that your family is supporting you. Family support is very important. It is not a death sentence. Now it is time to move on with your life. Take control of your life now and shape it in the best possible way. You must be in control of yourself. At the end of the day, you have to answer for yourself. Be strong. Take courage. Seek inner peace within yourself and most importantly: love yourself. Love yourself and accept yourself. You will find all the answers to your questions deep within yourself. What is done is done. No point looking back and living in regret. This is the way life is for you now. Take charge of your life and be the master of your own destiny. When you turn inward and look deep within yourself, you will find a strong loving presence residing within you. You will draw your strength from that presence. I look forward to the continuation of your story.
28. 2009-06-29 08:44  
Congratulations on having the power and strength to fight the stigma of this virus. I admire anyone who can openly share their personal experiences, it is very empowering. I find it sad that others would feel the need to question the article and ask how you caught the disease, because if I know, then I can judge you........I don't believe anyone has the right to judge you, except yourself. Whether SL Yang became positive through unprotected sex with his life partner, multiple partners, a freak broken condom, oral sex (damaged gums etc), needles, blood transfusion, rape, attacked etc, it doesn't matter. The article aims to help people who are positive to have a fuller life, to educate negative people on the stigma around such an illness, most importantly to encourage others to test, even if they are diagnosed positive, they can now take actions to ensure they have a long healthy life. I can only take my hat off to SL Yang and say that I admire his courage.
29. 2009-06-29 09:45  
insensitive as he may seem, i think it's well worth noting that "Daophos" is a man who believes in taking full responsibility. he has lived through the time of the early bath-houses or saunas in the US through the present, and it seems to me, yearns for a speedier evolution of the LGBT community, both in terms of sexual behaviour, and stereotypes. "Good riddance to fetish-filled parades," he writes, a sentiment that is growing within the ranks, even here. (i would be happy if Fridae just stopped calling everyone "girlfriend" :)

to be fair, if Daophos has been cruelly harsh on the writer, he has also been harsh on himself (alcoholism).
he is basically lashing out at the culture of irresponsible sexual gratification and fetish that has led to the death of many in his home environment, and which is now taking its sad toll right here, and in Asia, as we debate. illegal poppers and stimulants are even blatantly sold in one chatroom at least.
the courageous writer and his tough critic will have served a useful purpose here, if they only make us ALL realise that we excuse ourselves, and our friends, far too easily for our and their addictive behaviours, to which there are inevitable consequences...
the culture of irresponsibility and thoughtless self-gratification has just got to stop. or more will pay the tear-filled price.
the writing is on the wall.

P.S. to the writer, i would add that it should be obvious you have the gratitude of the majority here for your sharing, which can't be easy. and like Gandalf said to Pippin in the third movie of the Lord of the Rings, this is not the end...
30. 2009-06-29 10:21  
A question to some of the posters above, because I'm getting confused about their beliefs. What is more dangerous ? Safer sex in a sauna/bathouse...or.... unsafe risky sex in the confines of your beautiful bedroom or hotel room ? Or it maybe I should ask... What is more dangerous... safer sex at sauna/bathhouse..or safer sex in your bedroom.

I think there are some who are judging others for where they have sex, rather than what they do. Risk is risk.... precautions are precautions, regardless of the setting.

Your still going to be at risk of injury during turbulence if you dont wear a seat belt in an aircraft whether your flying first class or economy class.
31. 2009-06-29 11:01  
I agree with Libre1973, the "how he got it" is immaterial here.

What does anyone want to do with that info anyway?
32. 2009-06-29 11:02  
Lecturing will solve nothing. It certainly hasn't reduced the teenage pregnancy rate amongst church communities in the American South.

A guy I went on a date with blurted out his positive sero-status in the cab home. I was utterly blown away by his frank openness, and it got me to rethink my own sexual behaviour. We went on to spend a whole night talking about our sexual attitudes.

People shouldn't be blamed for their mistakes - who hasn't screwed up in their choice of partner - and everyone ultimately pays for them. I believe fundamentally that no condom means no sex, and I don't feel as if anyone has an excuse not to use one. Ever. However, if I or a friend should become positive - whether from a bareback orgy or simply giving a blow-job with a mouth ulcer, those around them need to reach out, like Mr. Yang's family, and care for them.

Holding them down and berating them with 'you idiots' and 'fucking stupids', and I'm looking at YOU, Daophos, is not going to get them to share their stories in the public arena - and only by hearing these stories will people begin to take safe sex seriously again. Unfortunately there's no rehab for HIV, so all we can do is learn to live with it for the time being - if not necessarily in our bloodstream then in our community.

And comparing being HIV positive to being an alcoholic is palpably absurd. You can't become an alcoholic from one glass of wine. Not all HIV positive people are sex addicts or sauna prowlers.
33. 2009-06-30 01:24  
SL Yang: thank you, and look forward to rest of your articles. Wish you love and stay healthy, and thank you for your courage before and during this.

Daophos: you nauseate me. You think HIV+ people are "idiots"? YOUR an idiot! To think someone can use a condom all the time every time is a fantasy. Also, condoms sometimes break. Or there is cut in mouth your not aware of. There ARE other ways to get HIV other then being slut bb bottom, so ease up! If you claim to never have bb in your life you are a LIAR. Stop attacking people who cant be 100% strong 100% of the time...and had bad luck to pick the wrong partner. Or bad luck with breakage or open cut in mouth. Thats all it is, bad luck. They are not "idiots", they are human being who deserve compassion...unlike you. And if you dont think his Dad hugging him is special, your sadly unaware or how social custom is in most of asian world, and much of USA too..you spoiled turd
34. 2009-07-02 00:54  
thanks for the second instalment of your story. i am beginning to be a fan of this series. am waiting for the third instalment! i agree that you are much fortunate compared to the minority HIV+ gays who had yet to reveal their sexual orientation, much less their sero-status. bravo!
35. 2009-07-05 07:40  
I have to weigh in here. Education about HIV and how to avoid has helped curbed the epidemic to a great degree in some areas but it is not enough. And then education doesn't necessarily help with personal issues and problems.

There basically needs to be a more effective treatment, therapeutic vaccine, or cure. Until then, we need to take as much personal responsibility as we can take. While I have never practiced unsafe sex, there was a lonely time in my life when I visited bath houses with the intention of just being "hands only" and at times ended up sucking someone who chatted with me for a while. Hoping he would date me afterwards - and a couple of times that happened. Sometimes I thought I was having sex with a low-risk guy and found out that he had done some high risk things in his past and hadn't been tested yet. Do I deserve HIV or syphilis because of that? I don't think so. Nobody does.

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, protection responsibility escapes people - they end up doing more than they intended. Sex is a messy escape into bliss; a natural high. If people are lonely or have other harsh issues then sometimes they don't care for themselves as much as they would when they are in a more stable place.

It's all so human and my opinion is that NO-ONE deserves HIV no matter what they do.

What we need is a non-judgemental discussion of how to have soul sex and make connections with our sexual partners. Most of all, we need to get this thing cured. The "status quo" that one can die from something that usually bonds people peacefully, is unacceptable.
36. 2009-07-05 11:38  
Embrace, be compassionate, be non-discriminating and be non-gudgemental.

The writer has already paid a price for his action, and have to live with this dreadful disease for the rest of his life, the least we can do is to hear his life account and provide some morale support.

Have an open mind that he is just sharing his life experience living with HIV. Surely every readers should be able to gain something out from this article.

For the HIV-, it is a living lesson that it is important to take safe sex seriously, while for the HIV+ , rememberiit is not the end of the world, cherish your life and live it to its fullest.
Comment #37 was deleted by its author on 2009-11-14 18:55
38. 2009-07-06 14:53  
me too... after reading the above comments, can u feel the love tonight, young writer? (actually, i don't much like that song haha - prefer hakuna matata - so see what you have done..) it seems you have a lot to live up to... six parts, right? that's more than Frodo had to deliver... :) cheers
39. 2009-07-06 23:21  
Silly me. i've only just read part 1 of your series, and the preface to that first part. i now realise you have been living with hiv for more than 10 years, Mr Yang. i must say i was much affected by what you shared in part 1, too. what a journey you have already been on...
no, it's not HBO, it's life, and we thank you for the first-hand real life lessons, including those in the coming parts........ they may well be priceless.
40. 2009-07-11 14:49  
SL, I admire you having such courage! Life is beautiful. Embrace it, treasure and use it wisely. You are not alone after all in fighting this deadly disease. Live long and stay healthy!
41. 2009-07-25 00:06  
wow, I'm at work right now, and I started to tear up when you talked about coming out to your parents about your HIV+ status. Kudos to you for writing this emotional series. I work for an HIV/AIDS nonprofit, and this is important for people to read and understand...
42. 2009-08-06 02:31  
Morning SL,

I just read up on your article ... thanks for writing ... and you know, stay healthy ... dont let anyone bring you down ... if you believe you are doing the thing you like ... love ... or live for ... ... ... or ... something you believe in strongly ... stay focused ;)

... hugs and kisses and love ...

best wishes always,
Mr. Yong ;) (hey we share the same surname!)

Daophos: Do you remember the first time you lost your virginity ? What did feel like ? Im just trying to make you see that, everyone's timeline is different ... you must have heard or seen this before ... but others havent ... also, you sounded smart enough to construct sentences in fluid order, yet you werent smart enough to know when to keep your mouth shut ... like other smart and smarter people on fridae ... who might not only smarter, but more considerate and sensitive than you

maybe you will learn ? you do grow dont you ? not just age i hope ... ? This is apparently not your topic, and im glad you moved on ...
43. 2010-06-13 18:02  
People like daophos are the kind that just screams and begs for attention, and though he is entitled to his own opinion, he should not have been given the satisfaction by some of yall good folks here who tried to enlighten him..

All I can say is, one doesn't really know until you are wearing the shoe....

Did he get kicked out of here? Dont see him posting any of his "saddness" anymore...but hey - he did get of yall to read, and post,...and think....

44. 2011-06-14 15:01  
dilemma when someone was "diagnosed" with HIV positive from the HIV antibody test...

"The scientific literature has documented more than 70 different reasons for getting a positive reaction..."
Factors Known to Cause False Positive HIV Antibody Test Results
By Christine Johnson
Continuum Sept./Oct. 1996

Comment #45 was deleted by an administrator on 2012-11-12 12:49

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